THE MODERN GAY GUIDE TO LIFE

Las Vegas tourism has launched a glossy new campaign targeting the gay travel dollar. These posters reminded me of my own experiences in Sin City…

If you’ve never been to Las Vegas then your perception of the place is probably based on movies such as The Hangover or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. After visiting Sin City in August 2012, I can confirm that these movies are indeed fair and accurate documentations of the kinds of debauchery that one can expect. There’s something about the mix of weather, people, alcohol and desert isolation that makes visitors crazy. After only 3 nights of intense partying, I was glad to have made it out alive.

I never had the inclination to visit Vegas. Casinos, breasts and fake Venetian canals never did appeal to me but when I was asked to be best man at my best friend’s wedding in New York, I knew that there was only one place to host the bachelor party. And if we were going to do Las Vegas, we were going to do it right!

As the only gay man in a group of 12 very straight boys, I surrendered myself to the reality that I would have to partake in many a “straight” activity over the weekend. It didn’t even cross my mind that there would be any potential for some gay quiet time, not that it bothered me. I quite enjoyed dancing with strippers on tables in nightclubs and having conversations with waitresses at restaurants. Though, a part of me was curious as to whether or not there was a side of Las Vegas that I was missing. A side filled with hot American boys who played for my team.

It was thanks to a stripper named Destiny (or Cherry or Chastity) that I was to be introduced to the other side of Vegas. Destiny had been flirting with me for a good half hour while sitting on my lap in our cabana at the Encore Beach Club. I had tired of the conversation and was becoming slightly unhinged by the amount of our alcohol that she was consuming. Obviously I would never normally do anything to sabotage the enjoyment of my straight friends but I couldn’t take any more advances from opportunistic girls who wanted to drink for free.

“I’m gay”, I announced bluntly over the sounds of Calvin Harris’ DJ set in the hope to deflect her from our cabana.

“Well then let’s go find you a man”, responded Destiny with a sense of child like eagerness and excitement.

Destiny dragged my by the hand and led me around the pool, which was overflowing with muscle men and half naked girls, indicating to the crowd with bizarre and obscene hand gestures that I was a homosexual. Much time had passed and I was starting to feel like the only gay in the village when Destiny spotted a handsome young chap amongst the sea of party people. We waded through the lukewarm water (which was a pleasant relief from the 49 degree desert heat) towards the young man.

“I’m Destiny and this is my gay boyfriend. You guys should hang out” explained Destiny.

And hang out we did. For the next 12 hours, me and my new Canadian friend explored the other side of Las Vegas. I didn’t feel guilty abandoning my friends because over the course of the pool party they too had found their own things to “do”. We ran around The Strip and hopped from bar to bar, party to party, pool to pool late into the night and the next morning until we parted ways and promised to stay in touch (which we all know never happens).

Overall my Vegas experiences was everything I had hoped for, and more. As best man, I had coordinated an epic weekend for my mates and we had certainly done it right with limos, tables, dinners, clubs, parties, girls AND boys. Everyone had fulfilled their expectations while some of us had our expectations surpassed.

You may be curious as to what else happened between me and the Canadian but as the old adage goes “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”…..

What is your craziest Vegas story?