When do you feel the worst about yourself?
At the gym?
When you check Instagram or Facebook?
When reading gay men’s magazines?
When you’re at a nightclub?
When you log onto Grindr?
When you hang out with certain “friends”?
When watching porn?
Why don’t you….
Change gyms? Or try yoga?
Delete Instagram? Unfollow certain people? Limit your time on Facebook?
Read a book instead of buying a magazine?
Do something different on a Saturday night? Stay in with one person you really like and watch crappy TV?
Delete Grindr? Approach the hot guy in the street?
Stop spending time with people who make you feel bad and make new friends?
Watch an inspiring lecture online instead of porn? Ted.com is a good place to start.
It can be hard to pull yourself away from things that make you feel bad. Some may call it an addiction to pain while others may say it’s a result of self loathing but whatever it may be it’s certainly something that we’ve all experienced. The knowing that you’re making yourself feel worse but being unable to stop yourself. The worse you feel, the more you do it. Does this sound familiar?
Challenge: For one week DO NOT log onto Instagram or Facebook, DO NOT go out to clubs, bars or social venues you frequent regularly (unless they make you happy), DO NOT spend time with anyone who has made you feel bad in the past , DO NOT use Grindr and DO NOT look at porn. I did. And after one week the results were amazing. I felt more relaxed, less anxious and most importantly my self-esteem was lifted. This may sound like a late night infomercial but the only thing I’m selling is an easy approach to increasing your happiness (and it’s free).
There is much scope for discussion on this topic but in the meantime, take an inventory of all the things that lower your self-esteem or make you feel bad about yourself and for one week, just one week, commit to not indulging in any of them. Let me know the outcome.
What makes you feel bad about yourself? Did avoiding these things for a week make you feel any different?
Photo Credit: Baptiste Radufe by Serge Leblon
THE MODERN GAY GUIDE TO LIFE 
Love this! I think it applies to girls and straight guys just as much, I’ll have to give a go, especially the instagram part.
Thanks for checking out the site and for being part of the conversation. It’s interesting to hear that this is is a common problem across the sexuality spectrum, further proof that we’re all the same on the inside.
Thank you for sharing! Speaking from experience, deactivating my Facebook account was emotionally and mentally refreshing for me. I didn’t have the urgency to constantly impress people and find out what everyone is up to, and measure up with them. In fact, I learned how to channel my emotions and thoughts more constructively like blogging, reading and art projects.