It’s been almost three months since I moved to London and while I have thoroughly enjoyed myself for the most part, there have been a few moments when I’ve felt like a frightened Kim Kardashian being mobbed at Paris Fashion Week. Here is list of 17 times when this picture of Kim Kardashian perfectly depicted my gay life in London:
1. THAT TIME WHEN I WAS THE OLDEST PERSON AT G-A-Y LATE
2. THAT TIME WHEN MY FRIENDS LEFT ME ALONE AT EAST BLOC
3. THAT TIME WHEN I ENDED UP AT FIRE ON A FRIDAY MORNING
4. THAT TIME THAT I WENT TO HEAVEN ON A MONDAY NIGHT
5. WHEN THERE WAS A SIGNAL FAILURE AT BANK AND I HAD TO WAIT 7 MINUTES FOR THE TRAIN TO ARRIVE
6. WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY FOUND MYSELF ON OXFORD STREET ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON
7. WHEN I FLEW EASYJET TO ITALY
8. WHEN NONE OF THE EQUIPMENT WAS FREE AT FITNESS FIRST
9. WHEN I MET A HOT BOY IN SHADOW LOUNGE AND HE INVITED ME BACK TO HIS PLACE…IN ZONE 4
10. WHEN THE WAIT FOR A TABLE AT EVERY RESTAURANT IN SOHO WAS OVER AN HOUR
11. WHEN I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE A BLACK CAB FROM DALSTON TO NOTTING HILL
12. WHEN I HAD TO TAKE THE TUBE DURING PEAK HOUR
13. WHEN I WENT TO BOROUGH MARKETS
14. WHEN I HAD TO PAY £15 TO GET INTO ROOM SERVICE
15. WHEN I COULDN’T FIND ANYWHERE TO SIT DOWN AT THE YARD
16. WHEN I REALISED THAT ALL THE HOT BARTENDERS ARE STRAIGHT
17. WHEN I THINK ABOUT EVER HAVING TO LEAVE THIS EPIC CITY
THE MODERN GAY GUIDE TO LIFE 