WHY COMING OUT IS SO HARD YET SO REWARDING

gay teen blog

Today we observe National Coming Out Day and to mark the occasion, here is a list of 8 reasons why coming out is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do and yet the most rewarding.

  1. You have to publicly reveal to your friends, families, co-workers a secret about yourself that you feel ashamed of… yet once you come out that shame begins to fade away
  2. You have to publicly reveal to your friends, families, co-wokers a secret about yourself without knowing how they may respond… yet their responses may pleasantly surprise you
  3. You have to reveal to people a part of your identity that may be at odds with their personal beliefs… yet their beliefs may actually make them more tolerant
  4. The first people that you come out to are often straight and can’t empathise with your experience… yet straight allies can make for the most powerful allies
  5. You may live in an environment that does not make it safe for you to come out… yet when you’re old enough or independent enough to remove yourself form that environment you will find people to help protect you
  6. You feel trapped by your fears, insecurities and worries while you’re still in the closet… yet when you come out you realise that the things that frightened you the most never happen
  7. You feel like you’re always pretending while you’re in the closet… yet when you come out you can be your true self
  8. You feel like a coward for not having the courage to come out… yet coming out is one of the bravest things you will ever do

Image by Exterface Studio

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6 thoughts on “WHY COMING OUT IS SO HARD YET SO REWARDING

  1. Gus says:

    This is so very true. I totally agree: talking about it for the first time was really hard, but I felt so relieved afterwards…

    • themoderngay says:

      Hey Gus – thanks for sharing your thoughts. It truly is one of the biggest reliefs when you finally come out. The first step though so seems so big but in retrospect it’s worth it.

  2. Iby says:

    I feel totally lost with myself even though i know I’m gay the thought of coming out os still very daunting.

    I strike up a conversation about homosexuality and my friends and family show extremely negative attitude.

    What can an Asian Muslim do other than remain in the closet.

    • themoderngay says:

      Hi Iby,

      Firstly thank you for reading the post and for commenting.

      The thought of coming out can be very daunting and scary, particularly when you add religion and culture into the mix.

      There’s a few points to make on your situation:

      1. There is never a right time to come out – you are totally allowed to wait until you are in a safe situation, confident enough and you’ve built up the motivation. The flip side though is that the sooner you do it, the easier it will be in the long run

      2. Your family and friends might surprise you. People who talk about homosexuality in general might bring up negative opinions but once they know that one of their friends or family members is gay then they may change their opinions. You then have the opportunity to show them a different perspective on homosexuality

      3. If you were to come out and your friends weren’t supportive then they probably shouldn’t be your friends in the first place. It’s scary to think of losing your network of support but if you were to come out and they weren’t supportive then it’s an opportunity to build a new network of friends who will love and support you no matter what. Coming out reveals your true friends

      Please know that I completely understand the situation you are in. You are not alone. Almost every gay (Christine, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, black, white, purple) guy has been through what you are going through now. It may not be fair that we are put in these situations but if you do believe in God then you would understand that God doesn’t give us any challenge that we cannot handle and everything happens as part of a larger plan.

      You should know that when you are ready to come out, you will find a world of people out there who will love you for who you are in every way.

      I really hope this helps.

      Josh

  3. I’m still in the process of coming out – mostly there but the hardest is yet to come! I’ve come out on Facebook and Twitter and tried to make an announcement go viral about my sexuality. Well it seems nobody cares much – homosexuality is old news and I had to plead with people to spread the good news. Or maybe there is more to people’s thoughts than that. I’m very proud to be gay and every positive post is a boost and a relief. So coming out on social media – yes, do it but it’s not the whole jib – and there is still that sticky bit with the family to come. Ouch!!

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