As the votes are being counted in Ireland’s referendum on gay marriage, it appears that the country has chosen ‘yes’ to marriage equality. To celebrate the occasion here is a list of 10 hot Irish men that you can now legally marry:
10. Colin Farrell
9. Chris O’Dowd
8. Daniel Day-Lewis
7. Jack Reynor
6. Niall Horan
5. Cillian Murphy
4. Michael Fassbender
3. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
2. Pierce Brosnan
1. Jamie Dornan
“Wont somebody please think of the children?” – Helen Lovejoy
Just like Helen Lovejoy, politicians, religious leaders and all those who oppose same-sex marriage claim that their first and most important concern is ‘the children’. They stand by their convictions on the claim that they are protecting ‘the children’ from the malevolent force that is homosexual parents. They argue that same-sex couples cannot provide for ‘the children’ in the same way that heterosexual parents can. That children need a mother and a father. But what about straight single parents? Children who have lost a parent? Should we ban unmarried, single women from having children or take back a child when he or she looses a parent by misfortune or divorce? Clearly, this argument is flawed.
Once they’ve emotionally exhausted themselves by thinking of all the wrongs that same-sex couples will do to the aforementioned children, they move on to their next argument; same-sex marriage will destroy the moral fabric that holds society together. In essence, if men can marry men, they claim, then what’s next? A man marrying a horse? Well I’ve done my research and it appears that men have already been afforded the right to marry their equine lovers. Surely it’s time for the gays?
The problem with all arguments put forward by the opposition, and the reason why they’ll eventually loose the debate, is because they aren’t saying what they really want to say. They aren’t basing their argument on their true belief and that is that those who oppose same-sex marriage oppose homosexuality. The real reason that they do not want same-sex couples to be afforded the same rights as heterosexual couples is because they fervently disagree with homosexuality. Obviously they never raise this point in public debates and forums because it sounds much more heroic to fight against same-sex marriage on behalf of the innocent children than it does because of your own personal feelings towards the people it will effect.
I look forward to being part of an honest debate, one whereby the issues are discussed honestly and openly, though I doubt we’ll ever hear a politician openly state “I don’t support same-same marriage because I don’t like gays”. It’s not very modern to publicly talk about your opposition to homosexuality and anyway, people sympathise much more with the plight of ‘the children’.
In the end though, there is no moral or ethical reason why same-sex marriage should not be legalised just as there is no moral or ethical reason why women should not be allowed to vote, or couples to marry within different racial groups and look how that turned out.
On Tuesday, France became the 14th country in the world to legalise same-same sex marriage, a week after the New Zealand government voted to have their marriage bill amended.
Unlike New Zealand, where there was strong support for same-sex marriage, polls show that the French are deeply divided on the issue. The bill, which will also give gay and lesbian couples the right to adopt children, will only become law when it is signed by President Francois Hollande. Although a popularity slump has left the president with one of the lowest approval ratings of any French president, it is believed that Mr Hollande will support the bill.
Vive La France.
Gay marriage should be legal. Period. But in the struggle for equality it’s important not to lose sight of the blessings we’ve been afforded as gay men.
When I was coming to terms with my sexuality I often wondered if there were any benefits to being gay as opposed to being straight. Sure, some might argue that sex is easier to come by or that gay men don’t have children so they have more money for themselves but neither one of these arguments convinced me. What finally helped me accept that being gay wasn’t all that bad was the realisation that society’s plan for what constituted a normal life did not apply to me. All around me, people were expected to date, go to college, find someone to marry, commit to a career, have children, buy a house, either stay married or divorce, retire and then die. This expectation of life was terrifying to me as I wanted to travel and meet new people and live in different cities and explore and have various sexual experiences. So when I realised that being gay was the key that unlocked me from the metaphorical cell of expectations, I began to look at my homosexuality in a whole new light. I could make up new rules for the way I wanted to live life, discover what really makes me happy not what I’m told will make me happy. All of a sudden life seemed like an exciting blank canvas on which I could paint my own picture with all the colours of the rainbow.
To this day, I thank God (or the universe or whatever you want to call it) for making me gay. This is the greatest blessing I have been given; permission to re-evaluate what is truly important to my happiness. That might be kids and marriage and a mortgage but if those things do happen in the future then at least I know that I chose them for myself.
So what does this have to do with gay marriage? While I support the fight for equality and equal rights 100%, I think it’ important not to lose the uniqueness that is intrinsically linked to being gay. Of course I want the same legal recognition as my heterosexual friends but I don’t necessarily want my life to look like theirs. If seen positively, being gay is so very special in that it allows us to look at the world and ask “how do I fit in here? Where is my place?”. When the ultimate goal for gays becomes to find a partner, marry and blend into society so that people don’t think we’re so different anymore, then I think we’ve missed the point. Furthermore, looking at the rates of divorce and depression, I would argue that marriage as it exists today isn’t actually an institution that I would like to be part of.
If you fight for gay marriage because you believe in legal equality for all then I salute you. However, the moment we try too hard to fit back into the “normal” mold that society has created or concentrate too much on blending in, we neglect the blessings that we were so fortunate to have been afforded when we were born gay.
Photo Credit: “Viva Las Vegas” by Matthias Vriens McGrath
Do you believe that homosexuality is a blessing?
THE MODERN GAY GUIDE TO LIFE 